I never knew General Grant until his reputation had been firmly established, never until after Vicksburg, which set him far ahead of our other generals in point of actual accomplishment. My first meeting was in a railway coach in Stevenson, Alabama. I was presented to him by a brother officer. He looked me full in the face, smiled pleasantly and said, "General Howard, I am glad to meet you." I found him only a little taller than I, thin, and very pale. I had heard so much of his roughness, and seen so much in the papers concerning his drinking habits, that I expected to witness a different sort of man altogether.
He went with me to Bridgeport, Alabama and stayed in my tent over night. When he first came in there was hanging against the wall of my tent an empty liquor flask. His eyes twinkled and I saw a faint smile creep over his face. Before he could speak I said, "General, that flask is not mine. It was brought here by an officer from Chattanooga. I do not drink." Grant answered quietly, "Neither do I," and surely at that period of his career he was not drinking, and I never knew him to take even a glass of wine during the Chattanooga campaign.
I had long conversations with him that night and the next morning. He took dinner with me and also breakfasted early the next morning, before starting on his most perilous journey to Chattanooga, some forty miles away. When there were no strangers present, or no newspaper correspondents, Grant talked freely enough; but he took the initiative in the conversation, carefully avoiding any discussion of his military plans. He was fond of meeting a West Point graduate and talking with him about his cadet life, and the horse question was never taboo. Grant was fond of a good horse and knew one when he saw him.
I found Grant the opposite of Lee. Grant was firm and sufficiently dignified, but made you feel completely at home with him. You never were impressed with his greatness of acquirements, or family or ability. He rather drew you out than allowed himself to be drawn out. He talked enough, but managed to introduce these subjects that would be especially interesting to both. I did not, at that time, realize that Grant was a great man, but after-reflection brought to my mind those qualities which marked him - such as self-abnegation, suffering without complaint, unselfish patriotism and indomitable resolution.
A little later I saw him in battle. There I found him absolutely undisturbed. He mind never rested upon himself or danger. He hardly seemed to see all his immediate surroundings. He always seemed to be weighing in his mind the different things that could be done, and I think he invariably selected the best. Grant's make-up was such that I did not wonder that he became distinguished before the other generals; for he was uniformly taking, against his enemy, "the offensive."
My last interview with the General was during his illness which terminated in his death. On March 26, 1885 I appeared at the General's house in New York. The General was alone, reclining in his favorite chairs. "How do you do, General?" he said and he turned his face towards me and extended his right hand. His face, whitish, but not emaciated, was natural except for the large swollen appearance on the left side. His muffled voice could hardly be recognized. During our conversation, General Grant was cheerful and patient, but now and then he changed the place of his head quickly as if in pain, and this motion warned me. I rose and said I would not weary him or add to his suffering. At parting I said, "Oh General, how much I wish I could so something to help you. But you can always command me, if it should occur to you that I could do something." I then asked, doubtless with some show of emotion as I held his hand,'Is there anything, General?"
He answered slowly and very kindly. "Nothing more, General Howard; nothing besides what you have been doing." "Good-bye, General," I said. "May God bless you!" "Thank you, goodbye." It was our last interview. The General has the same complete self-possession as always, was cheerful, without a hint of impatience or complaint under affliction. His was a great heart.
